Living With OCD, Pet Peeves & Personal Passions

In this episode of Dis-labled, we explore the everyday frustrations that can have a big impact on our lives.

Hasel talks openly about living with OCD, how it affects her daily routines, and the challenge of finding a balance between staying organised and looking after her wellbeing. Amy shares her frustration when people talk about her instead of speaking directly to her, leading to an honest discussion about disability, communication and feeling heard. 

The team also discusses their biggest pet peeves, from losing things and people-pleasing to untidiness and being misunderstood. In the second half of the show, we turn to the things that bring us joy, including art, nature, music, local history and Laurent's lifelong passion for London buses.

Project Managers: Andrea Rai & Phil Powell

Editor: Phil Powell

Huge thanks to the National Lottery Reaching Communities Fund for supporting our Dis-labled podcast. Learn more about their amazing work: https://www.tnlcommunityfund.org.uk

All enquiries: podcast@communityfocus.co.uk
Website: https://www.communityfocus.co.uk/

Theme Music: Rastko Rasic & the students of Community FocusOther Music: Jazzy Frenchy by ⁠⁠⁠Benjamin Tissot

Transcript

Phillip R 0:05

Community focus. Community focused. We're here for you. Our foot of you. At five o'clock. Your book London. A weekend review. We're here for you. Yay! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Gila 0:39

Community Focus is an art centre for children and adults with disabilities. We are based in Friern Barnet, North London, and offers collection of creative and well-being activities for all ages.

Marcus 0:58

Hi, in today's room we have my name is Lauren. And Marcus. In

Intro

Marcus 1:17

today's episode, we're talking all about pet peeves, the little things people say and do that can be frustrating, awkward, or just plain annoying. We also talk to Laurent about his exciting Royal Academy Summer Show news and discuss our passions and things that make us happy. Hope you all enjoy it. Marcus,

What's going on?

Marcus 1:42

what have we been doing at the moment? Good question, Alistair. What am I not doing at the moment is the question. Because for the last few years I've been doing art, I've been doing AI, I've been doing graphics design, I've been doing sewing. Meanwhile, I've been trying to look after my five adolescent kids kind of thing. I love them.

Hasel 2:05

What kind of things are you doing with AI?

Marcus 2:08

So what I'm doing with AI at the moment is AI prompting. So it's more or less the essential AI of how to prompt, how to use the right type of software and AI tools. Oh, I want to take a picture.

Phil P 2:23

Oh yeah, we do have a ladybird infestation. That's not gonna be the first ladybird you see today.

Marcus 2:30

Really? Come here, my friend. Also, I'm like Ace Ventura, I'm one with animals. So as I say, I'm one with animals like Ace Ventura. At the moment, I've got a ladybug or bird on me, and it reminds me of the time I was walking across the park and then I started speaking squirrel. And it followed me almost home actually as well. So yeah. There's no more squirrels about though, don't worry.

Hasel 3:02

Hi, my name is Hasel. I like drawing and painting, going for nice walks in the park, and watching interesting programs. Uh Amy, what are you up to at the moment?

Amy 3:17

I'm chilling and church and watching TV. What are you up to at the moment?

Alistair 3:28

I'm doing podcasts with community focus and um and um seeing how it's um uh broadens out into something um more um ambitious. I'm also doing artwork art and painting at um art stables and community focus as well, without intrepidation. How have you been? What have you been up to?

Laurent 3:49

What have I been up to? My name is Laurent and uh and uh and uh and and uh at night time I I love uh watching Brookside. I'm I'm a Brookside fan. And uh like uh London buses as well. I was so sometimes I do gardening in in in my mum's garden. Um uh the other day was my 50th birthday.

Phillip R 4:23

Oh, happy birthday!

We discuss our pet peeves - the things that annoy us

Alistair 4:33

Today we're going to be talking about pet peeves that bother us um emphatically obviously. And my pet peeve is misplacing things. If you can't find something and you want to find it, like a phone or your keys, and you just can't find them, they can wind you up the wrong way.

Hasel talks about her OCD

Hasel 4:49

My pet peeve is if things have not been cleaned or tidied, um and that really frustrates me because I don't like mess. I like being organized, so it it that really gets on my on my nerves. I've got a bit of OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder. So even if there's like one crumb on the floor, I have to pick it up or hoover it up and stuff like that, and it can get a little bit out of hand sometimes, and it can get a bit tiring to have to do constant hoovering and stuff all the time. So I think I need to work on my OCD and kind of, you know, not maybe look at those things as much, or maybe think to myself, maybe I should just hoover once a day instead, maybe that's enough, and it might reduce my tiredness as well, and so it doesn't frustrate me so much as well.

Amy 5:40

I don't like it when drinks matter out of place. Makes me feel annoyed, so um I choose to neaten them up around the lounge.

Marcus 5:55

I would just like to touch on that as well because I don't like things out of place, but I realise something, I've got my own type of OCD because I will constantly move my house around to make things look like they fit and then put something else back. So, for example, one of my things was I'm a very forgetful person. Where is my remote control? I found it two days later in the fridge because I went to go get a drink one day and swapped them round.

Alistair 6:22

Yeah, go figure, right? No, I was just misplacing keys and sometimes remote control, but quite often my mobile phone still I um I have to have to struggle sometimes to find them. They can be frustrating. Although although with a phone you can just ring up, uh ring ring and ring.

Hasel 6:40

If I see things like crumbs on the carpet or things not tidy, or plates not tidied away or cleaned, um it just makes me feel it upsets my day, it makes me feel uh out like something hasn't gone right. Um, and it just makes my day feel a little bit like it's not gone to plan um and it's just out of place. So um that's why I need to clean up and just hoover up and just make it all look nice. Um and that makes me feel like the days gone by better for some reason, um, but it doesn't really help because it just makes me feel really tired. So um it's not really helped my mood very much. Um so it's got a bit of a disadvantage as well. So but on the plus side I felt like my day's gone to plan more. But on the negative side, I'm more tired because I've been cleaning all day and stuff like that. So I just need to I think I need to think about how I do what I do and how many times I do it in the day. So maybe just Hoover once a day, for example. On the positive side, if I do that, I might feel less tired and my mood might go up a bit more as well.

Marcus 7:58

I would just like to touch on what Hathel was saying is I was there many few years ago, and the new way that I cleaned my whole house is I set certain days for certain rooms. So Monday that would be Hoover in the bedroom, Tuesday will be Hoover in the kitchen, Wednesday will be Hoover in the bathroom, etc. etc. And it took me just over a year to realise some of it works, some of it don't, because I don't like mess either.

Hasel 8:26

Thanks Marcus. That that makes me feel like I'm not sort of the only one in that position. But I do need to work on how much I do these things because it can affect my mood and how tired I am as well. So um yeah, something I need to work on.

Amy talks about being ignored

Hasel 8:50

Amy, what is your pet peeve and what get what really frustrates you?

Amy 8:55

My pet peeve is when someone is talking to someone else of when they should be talking to me, they'll say how is Amy um to someone else and then and stuff like that, and it's like I'm right there when they should be talking to me.

Alistair 9:23

If you're if you're if it's nothing to do with you, then you can be ignored.

Phil P 9:28

I think what Amy's saying is that sometimes people say, How are how's Amy? And Amy's just sat there.

Alistair 9:35

Well, I guess that's a bit ruse, yeah.

Hasel 9:38

For me, it's like it's because I'm aut autistic though, that I can't because of the give and take of conversations. Um not sure if that's the same for Amy, but for me that's sometimes why people talk to my parents instead of me, because I find it hard to give and take and and understand social cues. And that's probably why sometimes I feel a bit invisible and ignored. But um, yeah, I do see where you're coming from there, Amy. Um, but I think it's partly for me, it's partly because I'm Asperger's and I don't understand social cues.

Marcus 10:10

Um Hi, it's Marcus again. Uh I'm with both of you on this one because as somebody that sees everybody else of how they actually are, I'm worried about speaking to me and saying hello because I don't want to say anything wrong or that could upset you either. So that's why sometimes I take a step back and will speak around you rather than to you. So I do apologise if I've ever done that to any of you guys.

Hasel 10:38

I get I get a bit worried about what I should and shouldn't say as well. So, and that again, that's sometimes where when my parents take over because um uh I don't know what I should and shouldn't say and stuff like that as well.

Phil P 10:53

But what do you think? Why do you think it is that people talk to your parents and not to you?

Amy 10:58

Because very ignorant.

Phil P 11:03

Now I believe you, but I don't understand why anybody would want to ignore you.

Hasel 11:06

I think she's very friendly as well. I would I like to s I like speaking with Amy. I think she's really friendly and nice to talk to.

Marcus 11:13

So I can agree with that.

Hasel 11:25

Marcus, what what what other things frustrate you and stuff?

Marcus 11:31

What frustrates me is people pleasing. Um I'm not quite sure how I can please myself sometimes and get on with my own things. Where automatically, if somebody asks me to do something, 70% of the time I would say yes without checking my own diary of what I want to do or need to do. So that does kind of tick me off a little bit.

Hasel 11:59

So I've got the same problem, um, and it it does hard. It's kind of a bit because you kind of need to think about yourself as well and your own kind of well-being and stuff too.

Marcus 12:11

Well, I appreciate that. I just don't know how I actually feel about it because I want to be a people pleaser, but not as much as I am now, and I don't know how to sort of tell people no in a nice way without getting frustrated and angry about things.

Hasel 12:32

I get that, Marcus. I mean I've I've had the same problems, um same same same issue sometimes, like where I want to please someone, but I'm also not thinking about myself and um but I still want to be a pleas like well, want to please others and stuff. So yeah, it can it can get a bit frustrating that I I understand.

Marcus 12:54

Uh one other thing that annoys me about myself is like I said, I'm quite forgetful because I forgot what topic we were talking about. Alefto Aleftar, what is one of your pet peeves again?

Alistair 13:13

Being being verbally abused in the bus by some um ignorant mislout and um and because of mental health problems. And so um it's g uh yeah, it can be a problem. Um yeah, uh I have had uh verbal abuse in my time. But um what can you do about it? Well, I just uh I just swore back at them and uh I was ciprocated obviously and um and then they got off a bus and that was the end of a s end of a chapter. Well just temporarily um unsettled. But um it depends on the abuse, you see. On the bus, I mean I just um shrugged it off as um had talked about it with somebody else and um had mental health problems, so um so it didn't bother me too much. But um it didn't particularly bother me, no.

Marcus 14:02

I see where you're going with this, Alistair, because um I suffered from multiple sclerosis, and when I first got diagnosed in 2011, um I was more or less wheelchair bedbound and everything. When I did finally get on the bus, I used to have a walking stick, and what really annoyed me was the kids in general because they had no respect. Uh the elderly and the children had to stand up, and it was it was really bad because why are the kids sitting down when others need more help and support out there?

Alistair 14:37

Cassiant abuse, that's just um um negligence.

Marcus 14:41

Yeah, and with that negligence I found it as just really annoying and frustrating, really.

Laurent 14:49

I think uh I think I think long a long time ago I got attacked on the on the upper deck. I don't know, I don't know I don't know I don't know exactly what happened, but some tr uh someone tried to attack me on on the upper deck.

Marcus 15:04

How did that make you feel?

Laurent 15:06

Uh that that makes me uh nervous sitting upstairs. Do you know and yeah, I was sitting at the top of the 134 a long time ago and I got attacked.

Marcus 15:19

Are you okay going upstairs now though?

Laurent 15:21

Well I still sit upstairs, but but maybe maybe not when it's not night time.

The role of Community Focus in our lives

Marcus 15:35

So today we were talking about our pet peefs, um, and we would like to start off with community focus of how it relaxes us because one thing I've noticed in life is we're always gonna get a negative, and what I've learned throughout this course and through community focus is to counteract that negative with not just one positive but many positives, which is why I still come here and will continue to come here.

Amy 16:02

I like going to community focus because I like being creative and once I'm focused on what I'm doing I feel calm. Everyone's so nice, and um I'm like walking in and out of the parts to get to community focus. My favourite thing I like doing uh is decorating things.

Alistair 16:36

Um in community focus. Um yes, um the people here are um are um welcome welcoming and um and um uh I guess um down to earth, but um down to earth perhaps a bit more modernisation might do the trick.

Hasel 16:59

Um I like coming to community focus because I get to learn lots of different art techniques and things like that. Um the company's really friendly as well, the teachers teach me lots of different things, so it's a welcoming environment, so that's why I like coming here.

Laurent 17:19

Yeah, I like uh coming into community focus uh because I uh because I love uh drawing and uh and like uh drawing London buses and and woodlands and all that.

Marcus 17:34

Yeah, I like coming to community focus because it keeps me grounded, it keeps me feeling happy and safe. Not only that as well, it also keeps me feeling like a little kid again because as growing up everybody wants you to be a doctor, a lawyer, example. I like to sit at home, watch cartoons and draw. That's my community.

Laurent 18:02

Yeah,

We discuss out passions

Laurent 18:03

now we're going to talk about our passions. Uh what's your p uh passion?

Amy 18:09

My passions are writing and fashion books between sticker books and swimming.

Marcus 18:19

What type of things do you like to write about?

Amy 18:22

Um I like ticking fashion that I like the look of in the fashion magazines. I like swimming because I like World Sheads or um once I got nicknamed World Sid Baby because um it makes me feel a nice win on me and Wolf. Well it's your personalist.

Alistair 18:54

I like quoting pillars for music, um because um because you get fed up with the same stuff all over over again. So so so the variety is the spice of life for for as far as music is concerned, and there's n and and and there's no um end to to what you pla listen to because there's always new stuff coming out for innovation and uh excitement. Well the British Museum is useful for um for newspaper cuttings, but I haven't been there recently, but um there is um but um well yeah I mean um it is good for inspirational purposes, but uh our main target at the moment is the um Crouchend Library for um for for for for the for nineteen sixty sevens and nineteen sixty-fours.

Phil P 19:42

Um what do you mean by that, the nineteen sixty sevens and nineteen sixty-fours?

Alistair 19:49

Um uh l local histories of nineteen sixty sevens and nineteen seventy-fours, twos. Uh sixty-fours, whatever. Local well local history because um it seems to be more inspirational than the um the previous um illustrations I've told you about.

Phil P 20:08

Um what do you do with the cuttings when you found them?

Alistair 20:11

I draw a copy of them and bring them back to life from black and white to colour. Uh to ask um Marcus's uh ambitions.

Marcus 20:20

My passions are is to listen to people and find out more about them. The reason why I say that is people are just very interested in me. Um I am one of my own type of mixed personality, should we say, where I can fit into almost any room. So if I was a Marvel superhero, I would be a chameleon because I can go into any room possible.

Alistair 20:49

It's difficult to grapple that because um you're anything but a chameleon. I mean, um um um you're you're too metaphorical for my um tastes and versus.

Marcus 21:02

I I do like that, and the reason why I say I like that is because, as I said, one of my other passions is heroes, but it also goes across villains. So I like to be misunderstood, is the best way I can pronounce that.

Hasel 21:19

What is the most interesting thing you found out about someone?

Marcus 21:24

I think the most interesting thing I found out about someone is myself, of how I fit into this chameleon state and how I can mix across everybody and anybody. What is your passion, Hazel?

Hasel 21:39

So I like to draw and paint because it helps my mood and my mental health. Um I like walking in the park, looking especially in the summer and the spring and the summertime, because I like looking at the flowers, the trees, and just nature, and it that relaxes me too. Um exercise. Exercising it relaxes me and so does the ironing, so a bit of the housework as well. Um yeah so that's what I like to do. Laurent, what are your passions?

Laurent 22:12

Uh my passion, uh my my passion is uh music, London basses, uh and and I got passion and I also got passion for trees as well. Uh the music I love is Madonna and I like and I like all the old 80s that stuff as well. A long time ago I went to Wembley Stadium to see Madonna. Um I got passion for the 1970s buses. So L'Oreal, what would be your favourite bus then? Um I I like uh I like the old Metro bus, the MCW.

Marcus 22:53

And why is that? What makes that one stand out so much to you?

Laurent 22:57

Uh they got they got beautiful the uh the in the old 80s buses, they got the beautiful orange check seats. That's what I like about them. Don't you like the yellow Yeah, I like the yellow door. As I remember in the 70s to have uh a lemon yellow uh uh front doors.

Laurent's Royal Academy journey so far...

Phil P 23:21

We're very excited this afternoon to have Lauron with us, and Lauron is one of our um fine art students, and he has got a passion for painting London red buses from the 70s and the 80s. He's got quite an interesting story because recently um we applied for the Royal Academy Summer Show and his bus has gone from one stop to the next and keeps on going through to the next round, and he's gone down from 14,000 applicants down to the last 4,000. So the latest round is the very, very last round. If he gets through this, then he's gonna be in the summer show, and we've got actually got to take his artwork in for the judges to see in person, and we're going in a couple of weeks, aren't we, Laurent, to take the take your bus in? How do you feel about that?

Alistair 24:21

Yeah, I f I'm very pleased. What made you start off with buses for kickoff?

Laurent 24:28

What made me start? Um well I've been interested for buses for for a very long time since since I was little I like buses. As though I've I've got a fascination for for drawing buses. Uh yeah, painting London buses.

Alistair 24:46

Are you ever interested in the London Underground?

Laurent 24:49

Actually, I I should I actually I never had a passion for for for tubes. Actually, I actually I like the uh I I like uh the uh uh the really old trains. Um yeah, do you know the the steam train?

Hasel 25:04

How how will it make you feel when your painting goes into the Royal Academy Summer Show?

Laurent 25:09

I suppose I'd be I suppose I'd be happy.

Hasel 25:12

If your painting does get through, are you planning to go and visit the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition and will you take any photos and and show community focus?

Laurent 25:22

Yeah, I might take some pictures of the the summer exhibition, mate.

Alistair 25:28

How do you know how much to sell it for?

Laurent 25:31

I shall have no idea how much it's worth.

Marcus 25:35

See, this is why I love coming to this group because you just gave me our idea for a t-shirt design. What is your worth? And on the back of the t-shirt it will say I'm priceless, which is what your painting is, my friend. Thanks so much.

Phil P 25:50

That's great.

Amy 26:00

What's our uh final thoughts?

Laurent 26:04

Yes, I enjoyed it. Um what do you call it? Uh do broadcasting. I talked about the old London buses and

Final Thoughts

Laurent 26:15

uh and all the Madonna stuff.

Marcus 26:19

What I got at today is I love being around all of you guys because at home I'm kind of emotionally distracted in my own world, and coming here amongst community focused helps ground me. Not only do I learn a lot, it's also the listening where I can appreciate everything that everyone's doing and going through.

Hasel 26:41

Today I've uh enjoyed it because I've learned about um other people's pet peeves and I can relate to some of them a lot, so um it's interesting that I kind of have the same experiences as other people, and it's been interesting to learn about people's passions and what they like to do.

Amy 27:07

I like the podcast because it's fun. What I got out of today is that having to say my p pee's out there is that I don't have to keep it to myself anymore.

Alistair 27:27

Well um the um problems. Um the um sharing of our peeves together sharing of our peeves together has given us insight insight that they do interlock with each other and um and uh has of course given me uh a problem half is a problem doubled. So um so uh on the on the expression so for the peeves situation it has uh somehow um smoothen it out a little. Uh as far as the other extras on the um the the hobbies and the interests, um yes, um um they they have there are some interlocking, but and generally generally speaking, um sharing our interests amongst us all has given us insights into what uh what um possibilities are for all of us.

Phillip R 28:27

Community focused, community focus, we're here for you I want a view at five o'clock, you're booked London. A week in review, we're here for you, yeah. Hooray Hooray Hooray Hooray.